Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Interlude - A Poker Hand

Warning: What you about to real is real and unedited. When you are finished reading the following poker hand recap, you will feel dumber for having done so. The names are changed to protect the innocent, the donkeys and the raging tilters.

The game is 1/2 NL with a $300 max buy-in. The game has been going several hours and there are multiple buy-ins on the table. A "rock" is in play, a forced $5 straddle under the gun. The table is 9 handed.

The pre-flop action. Player 1 limps for $5. Player 2 raises to $25. Player 3 calls. Player 4 calls. Player 5, on the button, raises to $105. Player 6, the $5 straddle calls. Player 1, the limper, calls. Player 2, 3, and 4, the initial raiser and two callers also call.

$630 in the pot. Preflop. Two complete buy-ins. Nobody in the hand has a pot-sized bet left.

The flop comes 458, rainbow. Five checks and we're back to the button. He bets $300.

Straddler, Player 6 folds A5 suited. Limper, Player 1, folds unknown cards. Initial raiser, Player 2, folds pocket tens. Player 3 check-raises all in for $450 claiming, "I'll gamble." Player 4 reluctantly folds top pair, unknown kicker. Player 5, facing a $150 raise into a $1350 pot calls with an unimproved AJo.

I'll let you pause, and perhaps re-read the action, because I haven't even got to the good part yet.

Done?

OK. Player 3, says, I just have top pair and flips up Jack of spades.........

......

......

...... and the 3 of spades?????

"Oh no....I mis-read my hand," he said.

Player 5 has him crushed. The board is 458 rainbow and Player 3 is drawing to 3 outs. He can't even draw to runner-runner flush. A 6,7 can get a chop, but that's about it. It's an epic mis-read.

Player 5, perhaps being gracious, perhaps being risk-averse, offers Player 3 a chance to run it twice. Player 3, now realizing what bad shape he's in, immediately agrees.

First run: Turn 3, river brick.
Second run: Turn 3, river brick.

Player 3 scoops a $1500 pot.

This hand officially breaks the record for dumbest $1500 poker hand of all time.

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