"Wow you look like you feel awful." Nurse to BadBlood
"At least your eyes are working OK." BadBlood to Nurse
"This won't be the most uncomfortable thing I've done to you, but you will feel some discomfort." Doctor to BadBlood right before inserting several inches of swab up each nostril, likely referring to it not being as bad as a prostate exam.
"That was one of the most rapidly converging positive influenza tests I've seen." Doctor to BadBlood, obviously unfamiliar with my leet skillz with initial guesses and Jacobians.
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